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ISDENISON ^COMPANY 

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DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS 

Partial List of Successful and Popular Plays. Large Catalogue Free. 



DRAMAS, COMEDIES, 
ENTERTAINMENTS, Etc. 

M. F. 

Aaron Boggs, Freshman, 3 

acts, 2J4 hrs (35c) 8 8 

Abbu San of Old Japan, 2 arts. 

2 hrs (35c) 15 

After the Game, 2 acts, 154 

hrs. (25c) 1 9 

All a Mistake, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(35c) 4 4 

All. on Account of Polly, 3 acts, 

'2J4 hrs (35c) 6 10 

And Home Came Ted, 3 acts, 

2J4 hrs (50c) 6 6 

Arizona Cowboy, 4 acts, 2 54 

hrs (35c) 7 5 

Assisted by Sadie, 4 acts, 2 l / 2 

hrs (50c) 6 6 

As a Woman Thinketh, 3 acts, 

2J4 hrs (35c) 9 7 

At the End of the Rainbow, - 3 

acts, 2J4 hrs (35c) 6 14 

Black Heifer, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) 9 3 

Boy Scout Hero, 2 acts, 1$& hrs. 

(25c) 17 

Boy Scouts' Good Turn, 3 acts, 

\y A hrs (25c) 16 2 

Brookdale Farm, 4 acts, 2% 

hrs (25c) 7 3 

Brother Josiah, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) 7 4 

Busy Liar, 3 acts, 254 h. (25c) 7 4 
Call of the Colors, 2 acts, 1^4 

hrs (25c) 4 10 

Call of Wohelo, 3 acts, UA 

hrs (25c) 10 

Camouflage of Shirley, 3 acts, 

254 hrs (35c) 8 10 

Civil Service, 3 acts, 2 1 / 4 hrs. 

(35c) 6 5 

College Town, 3 acts, 2 14 

hrs (35c) 9 8 

. Deacon Dubbs, 3 acts, 2% hrs. 

(35c) 5 5 

Deacon Entangled, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(35c) 6 4 

Down in Dixie, 4 acts, 2Vz 

hrs (25c) 8 4 

Dream That Came True, 3 

acts, 254 hrs (35c) 6 13 

Editor-in-Chief, 1 hf....(25c) 10 
Enchanted Wood, \yk h (35c).Optnl. 
Everyyouth, 3 acts, 1 54 h. (25c) 7 6 
Face at the Window, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 4 4 

For the Love of Johnnv, 3 

acts, 254 hrs .(50c) 6 3 

Fun on the Podunk Limited, 

iy 2 hrs (30c) 9 14 

Gettin' Acquainted, 25 min. 

(35c) 1 2 

Her Honor, the Mavor, 3 art 1 ?. 

2 hrs. (35c) 3 5 



M. F. 

High School Freshman, 3 acts, 

2 hrs (25c) 12 

Indian Days, 1 hr (50c) 5 2 

In Plum Valley, 4' acts, 2J4 

hrs (25c) 6 4 

Jayville Junction, 1% hrs.(25c)14 17 
Kicked Out of College, 3 acts, 

254 hrs (35c)10 9 

Kingdom df Heart's Content, 3 

acts, 2Va hrs (35c) 6 12 

Laughing Cure, 2 acts, 1^4 hrs. 

(35c) 4 5 

Lighthouse Nan, 3 acts, 254 

hrs (35c) 5 4 

Little Buckshot, 3 acts, 2J4 hrs. 

(25c) 7 4 

Little Clodhopper, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (35c) 3 4 

Mirandy's Minstrels (30c) Optnl. 

Mrs. Tubbs of Shantytown, 3 

acts, 254 hrs (35c) 4 7 

My Irish Rose, 3 acts, 254 hrs. 

(35c) 6 6 

Old Maid's Club, 1J4 hrs. (30c) 2 16 
Old Oaken Bucket, 4 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 8 6 

Old School at Hick'ry Holler, 

1J4 hrs (30c) 12 9 

On the Little Big Horn, 4 acts, 

2V 2 hrs (25c) 10 4 

Poor Married Man. 3 acts, 2 

hrs (35c) 4 4 

Prairie Rose, 4 acts, 254 h. (35c) 7 4 
Real Thing After All, 3 acts, 

254 hrs (35c) 7 9 

Rustic Romeo, 2 acts, 254 

hrs (35c) 10 12 

Ruth in a Rush, 3 acts, 254 

hrs (35c) 5 7 

Safety First, 3 acts, 

254 hrs (35c) 5 5 

Southern Cinderella, 3 acts. 2 

hrs (30cj 7 

Spark of Life, 3 acts, 

2 hrs (25c) 4 4 

Spell of the Image, 3 acts, 2 54 

hrs (35c) 10 10 

Star Bright, 3 acts, 2J4 h. (35c) 6 5 
Those Dreadful Twins, 3 acts, 

2 hrs (25c) 6 4 

Thread of Destiny, 3 acts, 254 

hrs (35c) 9 16 

Tonv, the Convict, 5 acts, 25^ 

"hrs. ..; (25c) 7 4 

Trial of Hearts, 4 acts, 254 hrs. 

(35c) 6 18 

Trip to Story iand, 154 hrs. (25c) 17 23 
Uncle Josh, 4 acts, 254 hrs. CE5c) 8 3 
Under Blue Skies, 4 acts. 2 

hrs (35c) 7 10 

When Smith Stepped Out, 3 

acts, 2 hrs (50c) 4 4 

Whose Little Bride Are You? 

3 acts, 254 hrs (50c) 5 5 

Winning Widow, 2 acts, 154 hrs. 

(25c) 2 4 



T. S. DENISON & COM PAN Y, Publishers 623 S. Wabash Ave. , Chicago 



KISS ME, CAMILLE! 

OR 

THE STAGE-STRUCK DARKY 

A BLACKFACE NOVELTY 



BY 

WADE STRATTON 

AUTHOR OF 

"Almost An Actor," "An Awful Appetite" "The Barber's Bride," 

"A Burnt Cork Barrage," "Cash Money," "Fu'st Aid 

to Cupid," "Hitting the African Harp," 

"When Cork is King," Etc. 




CHICAGO 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY 

Publishers 



KISS ME, GAMILLE ! ^ 

CHARACTERS 

Lucinda Lee A Stage-Struck Cullud Gal 

Horatio Hambone A Reg'lar Actor FelluJi 

Luke McFluke He Loves Lucinda Too 

Scene — The Servants' Reception Room. 

Place — Where Lucinda Works at Housework 

Time — The End of a Perfect Day. 

Time of Playing — About Tzventy Minutes. 

TYPES AND COSTUMES 

All three characters are to be played by men, and an are 
made up blackface. 

Lucinda — Wears an outlandish gown of bright colors, 
that is meant to be stylish. The skirt is very short, and 
she wears big shoes ; "fuzzy-wuzzy" or "Topsy" wig. 

Horatio — A dressy colored man, very swagger and pom- 
pous, with the manner of a tragedian and a romantic lover 
combined. May wear frock or cutaway coat, plaid pants, 
white spats, patent-leather shoes, silk hat ; plain negro wig. 

Luke — Another stylish darky, but his costume is "sporty" 
to contrast with Horatio's more formal attire ; plain negro 
wig. He looks formidable, but his voice and manner are 
quite dainty, until the finale, and he generally acts rather 
dense. 

STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

R. means right of stage ; C, center ; R. C., right center ; 
L., left; R. D., right door; L. D., left door, etc.; up stage, 
away from footlights ; down stage, near footlights. The 
actor is supposed to be facing the audience. 

COPYRIGHT. 1921, BY T. S. DENISON & COMPANY. 

2 

'""" OCT 10 1921 
©CI.D 59029 




KISS ME, CAMILLE! 



Scene: A plain interior, with door C. in flat, and another 
R. or L. Tables, chairs and other furniture ad lib. {Note: 
This sketch may be produced on any platform, as scenery is 
not essential, and music cues may be disregarded, if desired.) 

Music: Lively ragtime to raise and lower curtain. 

As the curtain rises, Lucinda enters from side, carrying 
in one hand a feather duster, and in the other several sheets 
of typewritten paper, clipped together like a theatrical 
''part." 

Lucinda. Thar now, thank goo'ness Ah got mah day's 
work done (throws feather duster aside) an' Ah kin git 
busy with mah career. Lemme see, whar' was I? (Looks 
at paper.) Oh, yes. (Reads.) Six weeks has came an' 
went since Ah received his letter, an' though Ah knows it 
word fo' word, hahdly a hour collapses that Ah don't give 
it the once ovah to see what it's all about. Oh, if Ah could 
but live till spring ! Ah will ! Will Ah ? Ah'll say Ah will ! 
Ah must — yes, Ah posolutely must — see him befo' Ah dies. 
(Pretends to look in mirror.) Oh, how changed Ah is! So 
pale, so ghastly pale ! Not one touch of coloh in dis hyah 
damaged cheek. If Ah could but see him! If Ah could 
but heah his voice! (Crash off-stage.) 

Horatio (speaks off-stage). Dawg-gone that coal scuttle! 

Lucinda (forgetting to act). That's him! (Calls.) Come 
awn in, Ho-ra-shee-o. 

Horatio (off-stage). Lead me, lead me, ye virgins, to 
that kindly voice. (Enters C, strides to Lucinda and cm- 
braces her.) Camille! 

Lucinda. Armand ! 

Horatio. Camille ! Camille ! Camille ! 

Lucinda (throws him off). Armand, Ah has swohn to 
hate an' to despise you. But no, no ! Ah kain't, tha's all. 
Ah kain't. 



4 KISS ME, CAMILLE! 

Horatio. Angels was painted fair to look like thee. Kiss 
me, Camille ! 

Lucinda. Go on, man, quit yo' kiddin'. 

Horatio {rubbing his shin). Dawg-gone near busted mah 
shin ovah yo' ol' coal scuttle. 

Lucinda. Horatio, Ah is mighty glad you dropped in. 

Horatio. Dropped in what — the coal scuttle? Well, Ah 
didn't git no amusement out of it maself. 

Lucinda. Ah is glad you come to help me with mah play- 
actin'. 

Horatio {cautiously). Whar's all the folks? 

Lucinda. Missus' gone out ; cook's busy ; laundress is 
ironin'. Ah ain't got nothin' on mah mind but mah hair 
ribbons. Horatio, you reckon Ah kin git to be a reg'lar 
actress like you ? 

Horatio. Ah ain't no actress. You is mixed in yo' 
janitors. 

Lucinda. Ain't in love with no janitor; only with a 
actor. 

Horatio {suspiciously) . How 'bout this hyer Luke Mc- 
Fluke? 

Lucinda. Well, what about him? 

Horatio. Nothin', only Ah don't like his manifestations. 

Lucinda. Don't let Luke botheh you, Horatio. 

Horatio. Ah won't, if Ah kin help it. Luke McFluke 
is some tough coon. Well, how 'bout yo' lines ? 

Lucinda. Mah lines? Look me ovah, kiddo, look me 
ovah ! 

Horatio. Ah ain't speakin' flggeratively, but dramatoro- 
logically. Does you know yo' paht ? 

Lucinda. Ah reckon Ah does. Whar does we start to 
begin to commence? 

Horatio. Fifth ac'. "Spring will soon be hyah," et 
cetery. 

Lucinda {dramatically) . Spring will soon be hyah, an' 
Ah has et celery ! 

Horatio. That ain't it. "Spring will soon be hyah, an' 
Ah does so love the spring." 



KISS ME, CAMILLE! 5 

Lucinda. Oh, yes, Horatio, now Ah is cranked up 
Spring will soon be hyah, an' Ah does so love the spring. 
No frown upon her brow fo'bids the humblest floweh to 
hope. She smiles on all alike — the camellia an' the cow- 
slip, the sunfloweh an' the dandyline. May I not hope that 
she will smile on me? 

Horatio. Smile on you? Woman, she'll bus' herse'f 
wide open with laughin'. Sunfloweh an' dandyline ! How 
come you to say them words ? 

Lucinda. Well, it was some kind of vegetables. 

Horatio. Ah reckon we ain't ready fo' ac' five yit. Le's 
try ac' one, whar Ah axes you does you love me, an' you 
says Go bump yo' haid, man, Ah ain't got no time to waste 
on a amachoor. 

Lucinda. A'right, Horatio. 

Horatio. Go ahead an' shoot. 

Lucinda. Ah, Monsoor Armand, is it you? 

Horatio. Camille, you is killin' yo'self. Ah would Ah 
had the right to save you fo' mahself — I mean fro,m yo'self. 

Lucinda. It is too late, Armand. Yo' bright idea ain't 
come soon enough. 

Horatio. But, Camille — what kin Ah do? 

Lucinda. Go into the nex' room with Gaston an' them 
otheh frogs. They has got a crap game goin', an' this is 
maybe yo' lucky night. 

Horatio (scratching his head). Don't sound lak the play 
— but sounds mighty natural. Camille, has you got a heart? 

Lucinda. Armand, why does you ax me that ? 

Horatio. If you ain't got a heart, Ah kin git along with 
a gizza'd an' a drumstick. 

Lucinda (angrily). Look hyah, man. Ah kin play 
Camille, but Ah ain't gwine to impersonate no chicken frica- 
see ! Them words ain't in the play. 

Horatio. No, but they is powerful in mah mind. 

Lucinda. You ain't gwine to eat till we has got all prac- 
ticed up. 

Horatio. Eatin' is one thing fo' which Ah don't require 
no practice. 



6 KISS ME, CAMILLE! 

Lucinda. You is learnin' me fo' to be a actress. Don't 
fo'git that. 

Horatio. Yes, an All's dawg-gone hungry. Don't fo'git 
that ! 

Lucinda. You gits paid fo' mah lesson when mah lesson 
am lessoned. C. O. D. Git that ? 

Horatio. Yas'm. C. O. D. sounds fishy to me. 

Lucinda. Go home an' to bed. 

Horatio. What you mean, gal? We ain't done yit. 

Lucinda. Ah is play-actin'. 

Horatio. That's different. 

Lucinda. Dream all night of some dear gal, mo' worthy 
of yo' love than what Ah is. Choose from a holier spear 
than this the woman which you would love. Then seal that 
love upon the halter. Take her to yo' bosom fresh with a 
parent's blessing. If she ain't got no parents, you is lucky. 

Horatio. Camille, has you evah loved? 

Lucinda. Nevah. 

Horatio. You is a dawg-gone liah, but you is a cute li'l 
rascal. Kiss me, Camille. 

Lucinda. Horatio, the kisses is like the chicken fricasee 
— C. O. D. Go ahead with yo' play-actin'. 

Horatio. Madame, did you send fo' me? 

Lucinda. Ah did, Armand. Ah would speechify some 
language with you. 

Horatio. Then spill the beans, Camille. 
Luke enters C. unobserved. 

Lucinda. Oh, do not sqush me with reproach ! See how 
Ah is bowed befo' you, pale an' tremblin'. Listen to me 
without haste, an' hear me without payin' attention. Say 
that you will fo'get the past, an' give me yo' hand. 

Horatio. Away, woman. You ain't been true lo me! 

Lucinda. Ah alone is to blame, an' Ah alone mus' suffeh. 
Armand, you is got to leave town. 

Horatio. What? You counsel me to play the coward's 
paht? Aha, you trembles fo' yo' loveh ! {Points toward 
Luke zvithout seeing him. Luke is taking all this in with 
fascinated interest.) 



KISS ME, CAMILLE! 7 

Lucinda. Ah trembles fo' yo' life! 

Horatio. Ah will not die until Ah has saw these words 
wrote in the blood of the man what has wronged muh ! He 
shall not live, fo' Ah has swohn it! (Luke shows fright.) 

Lucinda. Oh, you wrong him. He ain't done nothin' 
a-tall! (Luke shakes his head violently in assent.) 

Horatio. He loves you, madame. That is his crime — the 
sin he must answer fo' ! Why is you his, an' why is you 
here — the plaything of his vanity, the trophy of his gold? 
(Luke stands looking stupidly at Horatio, open-mouthed.) 

Lucinda {seeing Luke for the first time). Oh, Horatio ! 

Horatio. Fo' the time bein' mah name is Armand. 

Lucinda. Fo' the time bein' yo name is M-u-d. Look 
who's hyah. 

Horatio {seeing Luke when she points). Luke McFluke! 

Luke {to Lucinda). Lucy, honey, how come this big 
black baboon make all this hyah foolishment, huh ? {He is 
very mild-mannered, and asks in a tone merely of idle 
curiosity.) 

Lucinda. Oh, Luke, don't kill him ! Don't kill him ! 

Horatio (placatingly). That's right, Luke. Listen to 
Lucinda. 

Luke. All right, Lucy, I won't right now. {To Horatio.) 
Stand by, boy; yo' life is spared. 

Lucinda. Luke, this hyah is mah genl'man frien', Mistah 
Horatio Hambone. He is a acto'. 

Luke {tipping his hat slightly, to Horatio). Much 
'bliged to meetchuh, Mistah Hambone. Ah thought you 
had done went crazy an' took Lucy along with you. 

Horatio {nervously edging away). Well, Ah — Ah got to 
go. 

Lucinda. No you ain't, Horatio. Luke, Mistah Hambone 
has been learnin' me fo' to be a actress. How would you 
like fo' to be a actress too? {To Horatio.) Go ahead an' 
learn 'im, Horatio. 

Horatio. Well then, Mistah McFluke, was you evah on 
the stage? 

Luke. On the stage? Ah used fo' to drive one. 



8 KISS ME, CAMILLE! 

Horatio. Ah is makin' reference to the stage Shakes- 
peare tells about holdin' the mirror up to nature. 

Luke. Ah got one in mah room, seven-by-nine. 

Horatio. Keep yo' min' on what Ah is tryin' fo' to 
percolate through yo' intellect. What does you know about 
Camille ? 

Luke. Camille? Ah don't smoke them cigarettes. 

Horatio. Nevah worked so hard fo' a chicken fricasee 
befo' in all mah bohn days. 

Lucinda. Give him a play-actin' lesson, Horatio, an' Ah'll 
git you up a nice bite in the kitchen. (Starts out side door.) 

Horatio. Faihwell, pale lady of the camellias. 

Lucinda. Kin this be love, o' is it madness? Why has 
you come acrosst mah path? 

Horatio (holding out his arms). Kiss me, Camille! 

Lucinda (fanning her hand at him). Quit yo' kiddin'! 
(Exit side door.) 

Horatio. Now, Mistah Luke McFluke, you is gwine fo' 
to learn how to ac'. 

Luke. How shall Ah ac'? Natural? 

Horatio. This hyah is gwine fo' to be tragedy, not com- 
edy. What kind of a voice has you got fo' tragedy? 

Luke. Oh, delicious ; delicious. 

Horatio. Well, supposin' Ah was to step up to you, slap 
you on the shouldeh an' call you a villain an' a traitor to 
the state, what would yo' say to me? 

Luke. Ah reckon Ah'd remind you that yo' language was 
very ungen'manly. 

Horatio. No, you big block of bituminous ignorance. 
You should say "Liah!" Is you ready? 

Luke. Ah reckon Ah is. 

Horatio (striding over and slapping him on the back). 
Thou art a villain an' a traitor to the state ! 

Luke (very meekly). Liah. 

Horatio. Kain't you tell a better lie than that? Come 
over here and call me a villain. 

Luke. You want me fo' to call you what you done called 
me? 



■ KISS ME, CAMILLE! * 9 

Horatio. Sure Ah does. Kin you do it? 

Luke {walking over and tapping him gently on the arm). 
Thou art a villain an' a traitor to the state. 

Horatio {fiercely). Liar! 

Luke. Ah — Ah didn't mean it. 

Horatio {with a hopeless gesture). Oh, what's the use! 
Say, Luke, didn't you neveh see no shows ? 

Luke. Oh, Ah seen a couple. 

Horatio. What did you see ? 

Luke. Well, Ah seen an' {popular motion pic- 
ture comedians). 

Horatio. Ain't you neveh saw Macbeth? 

Luke. Yassuh. Ah done seen Macbeth. 

Horatio. What do you think you could play in Macbeth ? 

Luke. Lady Macbeth. 

Horatio. That's a lady's paht. We gotta play somethin'. 
What'll we play? 

Luke {enthusiastically) . Let's play tag. 

Horatio. No, Ah mean some piece. 

Luke. Ah could have a lot of fun with a piece of apple 
pie. 

Horatio. Ah got it ! We'll play Damon an' Pythias. 
Ah'll play Damon, an' you'll play Lucimicus. 

Luke. Ah'll play if Ah kin use mah own dice. 

Horatio. We ain't gallopin' the dominoes. We's play- 
actin'. 

Luke {weakly). Oh, all right. 

Horatio. What's the fust words you say when you comes 
on the stage? 

Luke. Come on, Macduff. 

Horatio. Ah got to 'splain it to you. You see, Ah is 
Damon, an' Ah got pinched fo' knockin' oveh a peanut stand, 
an' they put me in the hoozgow. Ah got a friend, name 
Pythias. Pythias says he's gwine stop in jail fo' me while 

Ah goes out to {nearby town) fo" to see mah wife an' 

child. 

Luke. G'wan, man. You ain't got no wife. 

Horatio. Ah's only playin' like Ah got a wife. 



10- KISS ME, CAMILLE! " 

Luke. If Lucy ketches you playin' it, good night Mistah 
Actoh man ! 

Horatio. Ah goes into the country an' takes you with 
me — 

Luke. In a tin lizzy. 

Horatio. In a tin — (checking himself). No, of course 
not. In a tin lizzy ! The idea ! We goes into the country. 
If Ah ain't back to the jail by sunrise, Pythias is gwine 
git shot, 'stid of me. 

Luke. An' if you gits back by sunrise — ? 

Horatio. Then Ah saves his life, an' gits shot mahself. 

Luke. An' you gwine hurry back to git shot? 

Horatio. Ah is. 

Luke (disgusted). You deserves to git shot. 

Horatio. While Ah is in the house, biddin' mah wife and 
chillen goodby — 

Luke. You means while you is in the basement biddin' 
yo' homebrew goodby. 

Horatio. While Ah is in the house, you is out in the 
bahnya'd, an' you kills mah hoss. 

Luke. Shot at sunrise. He gits killed without havin' 
to go back to jail. 

Horatio. Yes, he — Not at all! 

Luke. You ain't got no hoss, anyways. 

Horatio. It's in the play. 

Luke. Like yo' wife? 

Horatio. Exactly. 

Luke. Yo' hoss is 'zactly like yo' wife ? 

Horatio. Yes, my — Say, what are you talking about? 
I come from the house and ask you fo' my hoss, an' you 
say, "Fo'give me, massa, I slew yo' hoss !" 

Luke. That's mah paht, is it ? 

Horatio. Yes. Now get over there. 

Luke (crossing stage and repeating the line over several 
times to himself). Fo'give me, massa, I slewed yo' hoss. 

Horatio. Is that the way to stand? You ought to 
tremble. (Luke trembles.) That's it. Keep up that shim- 
my. (Goes out C. door and immediately rushes in again. 



KISS ME, CAMILLE! 11 

Dramatically.) Tis o'er, Lucimicus. Bring fo'th mah- 
hoss ! Ah has stayed too long, an' speed mus' leave the 
winds behin' muh ! By Zeus an' all his fambly, the sun is 
gallopin' down the West — 

Luke. Let 'er gallop! 

Horatio. Why dost thou stand there? Bring fo'th mah 
hoss! 

Luke. Ah — Ah is f o'got mah paht ! 

Horatio. Slave ! 

Luke (belligerently). You call me a slave again, an' 
Ah'll bust yo' head open ! 

Horatio. Why didn't you say, "Massa, fo'give me, Ah 
slew yo' hoss ?" 

Luke (ready to fight). Don't you call me no slave! 

Horatio. Try it ag'in. Shake yo'self, boy, shake yo'self . 
(Luke trembles.) (Horatio goes off and returns as be- 
fore.) Be swift of speech, varlet ! 

Luke (about to strike him). Who's a varmint? 

Horatio. Ah says "varlet," not "varmint." Be swift of 
speech, varlet ! Whar is mah hoss ? 

Luke. Massa, fo'give me, yo' hoss went back to the jail 
to git shot at sunrise. 

Horatio. Aha! Ah's standin' hyah — 

Luke. We is both standin' hyah. 

Horatio. To see if the powers of Olympus will, with 
their lightnin's, execute mah prayer upon thee. 

Luke (slyly drawing big razor from hip pocket). Don't 
pray fo' me, black boy. Pray fo' yo'self. 

Horatio (not seeing the razor). But be thy punishment 
mine, Ah'll tear thee all to pieces ! Come ! 

Luke. Whah to? 

Horatio. To the eternal riveh of the dead. The way is 
shorteh than to Syracuse or Utica. (Creeping forward to- 
ward Luke as if to spring upon him.) With one swing 
Ah'll— 

Luke (grabbing Horatio by the collar with one hand, 
and brandishing razor over him zvith the other. Comic 
struggle.) To the eternal riveh of the dead! The way is 



12 KISS ME, CAMILLE! 

shorteh than to or (nearby towns). With one 

swing Ah'll throw thee to the dogcatchers, an' follow afteh 
thee ! 

Lucinda enters by side door, unobserved by the others. 
She carries a tray of dishes, covered with a cloth, and when 
well on stage, stands fascinated, watching the fight. 

Luke (dragging Horatio to C. door). Come, Pythias' 
red ghost beckons me ! Come, craven, come ! ( Throws Ho- 
ratio's limp form out of C. door. At the same time Lu- 
cinda drops the tray with a crash. Horatio sticks his head 
back in the doorway, with flour or zuhite poivder thrown 
over his face, Luke extends his arm romantically toward 
Lucinda.) Kiss me, Camille! 

Quick Curtain 



DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS ' 

Partial List of Successful and Popular Plays. Large Catalogue Free 



FARCES, COMEDIETAS, Etc. 
Price 25 Cents Each 

M. F. 

All on a Summer's Day, 40 min. 4 6 
Aunt Harriet's Night Out, 35 

min 1 2 

Aunt Matilda's Birthday Party, 

35 min 11 

Billy's Chorus Girl, 30 min... 2 3 

Borrowed Luncheon, 20 min.. 5 

Borrowing Trouble, 20 min.... 3 5 
Case Against Casey, 40 min... 23 

Class Ship, 35 min 3 8 

Divided Attentions, 35 min. ..14 

Fun in Photo Gallery, 30 min.. 6 10 

Getting Rid of Father, 20 min. 3 1 

Goose Creek Line, 1 hr 3 10 

Great Pumpkin Case, 35 min.. 12 

Hans Von Smash, 30 min.... 4 3 

Honest Peggy, 25 min 8 

Irish Linen Peddler, 40 min... 3 3 

Just Like a Woman, 35 min... 3 3 

Last Rehearsal, 25 min 2 3 

Men Not Wanted, 30 min 8 

Mother Goose's Goslings, 30 m. 7 9 

Mrs. Jenkins' Brilliant Idea, 35m. 8 

Mrs. Stubbins' Book Agent, 30 m. 3 2 

Not a Man in the House, 40 m. 5 

Paper Wedding, 30 min....... 1 5 

Pat's Matrimonial A'enture, 25 

min 1 2 

Patsy O'Wang, 35 min 4 3 

Rummage Sale, 50 min 4 10 

Sewing for the Heathen, 40 

min 9 

Shadows, 35 min 3 4 

Sing a Song of Seniors, 30 min. 7 

Taking Father's Place, 30 min. 5 3 
Teacher Kin I Go Home, 35 

min 7 3 

Too Much of a Good Thing, 45 

min 3 6 

Two Ghosts in White, 20 min.. 8 

Two of a Kind, 40 min 2 3 

Uncle Dick's Mistake, 20 min.. 3 2 

Wanted: a Correspondent, 45 m. 4 4 
Watch, a Wallet, and a Jack of 

Spades. 40 min 3 6 

Whole Truth. 40 min 5 4 

Who's the Boss? 30 min 3 6 

Wide Enough for Two, 45 min. 5 2 

Wrong Baby, 25 min 8 

FARCES, COMEDIETAS, Etc. 
Price 15 Cents Each 

April Fools, 30 min 3 

Assessor, The, 15 min 3 2 

Baby Show at Pineville, 20 min. 19 
Before the Play Begins, 15 

min 2 1 

Billy's Mishaps, 20 min 2 3 

Country Justice. 15 min 8 

Cow that Kicked Chicago, 25 m. 3 2 

Familv Strike, 20 min 3 3' 

First-Class Hotel, 20 min 4 

For Love and Honor, 20 min.. 2 1 

Fudge and a Burglar, 15 min.. 5 



M. F. 

Great Medical Dispensary, 30 m. 6 
Initiating a Granger, 25 min.. 8 

Kansas Immigrants, 20 min... 5 1 

Lottie Sees It Through, 35 min. 3 4 

Pair of Lunatics, 20 min 1 1 

Pat, the Apothecary, 35 min.. 6 2 

Please Pass the Cream, 20 min. 1 1 

Second Childhood, 15 min.... 2 2 

Smith's Unlucky Day, 20 min.. 1 1 

That Rascal Pat, 30 min 3 2 

Two Aunts and a Photo, 20 m. 4 
Two Gentlemen in a Fix, 15 m. 2 

Wanted: A Hero, 20 min. 1 1 

VAUDEVILLE SKETCHES 

Price 25 Cents Each 

Amateur, 15 min »... 1 1 

At Harmony Junction, 20 min. 4 

Breakfast Food for Two, 20 m. 1 1 

Cold Finish, 15 min 2 1 

Coming Champion, 20 min.... 2 

Fresh Timothy Hay, 20 min.. 2 1 

Her Hero, 20 min 1 1 

Hey, Rube! 15 min. v 1 

It Might Happen, 20 min 1 1 

Little Miss Enemy, 15 min.... 1 1 

Little Red School House, 20 m. 4 

Marriage and After, 10 min.. 1 
One Sweetheart for Two, 20 m. 2 

Oyster Stew, 10 min 2 

Pete Yansen's Gurl's Moder, 10m. 1 

Quick Lunch Cabaret, 20 min. - 4 

Si and I, 15 min 1 

Special Sale, 1 5 min 2 

Street Faker, 15 min 3 

Such Ignorance, 15 min 2 

Sunny Son of Italy, 15 min.. 1 

Time Table, 20 min 1 1 

Tramp and the Actress, 20' min. 1 1 

Troubles of Rozinski, 15 min.. 1 

Two Jay Detectives, 15 min.. 3 

Umbrella Mender, 15 min.... 2 

Vait a Minute 2 

BLACK-FACE PLAYS 
Price 25 Cents Each 

Axin' Her Father, 25 min 2 3 

Booster Club of Blackville, 25 

min. ., 10 

Colored Honeymoon, 25 min... 2 2 
Coon Creek Courtship, 15 m... 1 1 
Coontown Thirteen Club, 25 m.14 
Darktown Fire Brigade, 25m.. 10 
Good Mornin' Judee, 35 min. . 9 2 

Hungry, 15 min 2 

Love and Lather, 35 min 3 2 

Memphis Mose, 25 min 5 1 

Oh, Doctor! 30 min 6 2 

Troubled by Ghosts, 10 min... 4 
What Happened to Hannah, 15 

min 1 1 

A great number of 

Standard and Amateur Plays 

not found here are listed In 

Denison's Catalogue 



T.S.DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers, 623 S.Wabash Ave., Chicago 



I-m 



LIBKHKY Uh CUNURES 



POPULAR ENTERTAINME 

Price, Illustrated Paper Covers, 35 





IN this Series 
are found 
books touching 
every feature 
in the enter- 
tainment field. 
Finely made, 
good paper, 
clear print and 
each book has 
an attractive 
individual cov- 
er design. 



A Partial List 

DIALOGUES 

All Sorts of Dialogues. 

Selected, fine for older pupils. 
Catchy Comic Dialogues. 

Very clever; for young people. 
Children's Comic Dialogues. 

From six to eleven years of age. 
Country School Dialogues. 

Brand new, original. 
Dialogues for District Schools. 

For country schools. 
Dialogues from Dickens. 

Thirteen selections. 
Friday Afternoon Dialogues. 

Over 60,000 copies sold. 
From Tots to Teens. 

Dialogues and recitations. 
Humorous Homespun Dialogues. 

For older ones. 
Little People's Plays. 

From 7 to 13 years of- age. 
Lively Dialogues. 

For all ages; mostly humorous. 
Merry Little Dialogues. 

Thirty-eight original selections. 
When the Lessons are Over. 

Dialogues, drills, plays. 
Wide Awake Dialogues. 

Original successful. 

SPEAKERS, MONOLOGUES 

Choice Pieces for Little People. 

A child's speaker. 
The Comic Entertainer. 

Recitations, monologues, dialogues. 
Dialect Readings. 

Irish, Dutch, Negro, Scotch, etc. 
The Favorite Speaker. 

Choice prose and poetry.' 
The Friday Afternoon Speaker. 

For pupils of all ages. 
Humorous Monologues. 

Particularly for ladies. 
Monologues for Young Folks. 

Clever, humorous, original. 



017 401 323 



Monologues Grave ar 

Dramatic and humorous. 
Scrap- Book Recitations. 

Choice collections, pathetic, hu- 
morous, descriptive, prose, 
poetry. 15 Nos., per No. 35c 

DRILLS 

The Best Drill Book. 

Very popular drills and marches. 
The Favorite Book of Drills. 

Drills that sparkle with originality. 
Little Plays With Drills. 

For children from 6 to 11 years; 
The Surprise Drill Book. 

Fresh, novel, drills and marches. 

SPECIALTIES 

The Boys' Entertainer. 

Monologues, dialogues, drills. 
Children's Party Book. 

Invitations, decorations, games. 
The Christmas Entertainer. 

Novel and diversified. 
The Days We Celebrate. 

Entertainments for all the holidays. 
Good Things for Christmas. 

Recitations, dialogues, drills. 
Good Things for Sunday Schools. 

Dialogues, exercises, recitations. 
Good Things for Thanksgiving. 

A gem of a book. 
Good Things for Washington 

and Lincoln Birthdays. 
Little Folks' Budget. 

Easy pieces to speak, songs. 
One Hundred Entertainments. 

New parlor diversions, socials. 
Patriotic Celebrations. 

Great variety of material. 
Pictured Readings and Tableaux. 

Entirely original features. 
Pranks and Pastimes. 

Parlor games for children. 
Shadow Pictures, Pantomimes, 

Charades, and how to prepare. 
Tableaux and Scenic Readings. 

New and novel; for all ages. 
Twinkling Fingers and Sway- 
ing Figures. For little tots. 
Yuletide Entertainments. 

A choice Christmas collection. 

MINSTRELS, JOKES 

The Black-Face Joker. 

Minstrels' and end men's gsgs. 
A Bundle of Burnt Cork Comedy. 

Monologues, stump speeches, etc. 
Laughland.via the Ha-Ha Route. 

A merry trip for fun tourists. 
Negro Minstrels. 

All about the business. 
The New Jolly Jester. 

Funny stories, jokes, gags, etc. 

Large Illustrated Catalogue Free 



T.S.DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers, 623 S.Wabash Ave., Chicago 



